novel idea

Title: something like PS 3553 .L79338 P5

idea: the title is the theoretical Library of Congress call number for the author, who has long dreamed of being published and at least mildly famous, despite being neither talented nor prolific, nor even having written much beyond this document, which consists of reviews of his unwritten books, biographical sketches purportedly by actual journalists, and extensive, often fawning interviews with the author. Etcetera.

FIL #2 (index card, circa 2004)

Found In Library:

FOSOP #1 (gold, circa 2006)

introducing a new category: things written by myself and later found on scraps of paper...

"Well, then, maybe I could put mirrors on my shoes and step on your face
--then you could really see yourself the way I see you."

Theme Restaurant idea (only semi-offensive)

(an idea recorded in Livejournal on July 21, 2005 & rediscovered while saving those entries pending Livejournal's probable imminent collapse*)

Restaurant:

Da Una Bomb

all the waiters dress in dark glasses, mustaches, sweatshirts with the hoods pulled up;

food is brought to the table in paper parcels

etcetera


*thanks to John Glover for the heads up

a new addition to the list of great names

Conkesta Gryzmala
(spotted this evening on Judge Mathis)

and some of the classics:

Glady Smoot
Queen Melvin
(encountered while file clerking at the near-criminal "Career Training Center" in rva)

Baxter Dunaway
(author of The Law of Distressed Real Estate)

Dequency Batts
(alleged murderer)

may i just say...?

Assholes!

ASSHOLES!

ASSHOLES!

Big Don Gately's own personal daddy eliminates own map

"Somebody overhead asked somebody else if they were ready, and somebody commented on the size of Gately's head and gripped Gately's head, and then he felt an upward movement deep inside that was so personal and horrible he woke up."

....

"And when he came back to, he was flat on his back on the beach in the freezing sand, and it was raining out of a low sky, and the tide was way out."